Cookie Clicker Wiki
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The Tips of the Day are small notes on the mobile version, describing how the game either works or absolute nonsense.

All of these use proper capitalization.
Old Tips
Your progress is saved every few seconds!
Your buildings keep making cookies while the game is closed, so feel free to take a break!
Make sure to read the info on upgrades and achievements for handy insight and flavor text!
Missed a pop-up message? Check out the Log button in the stats tab!
Shouldn't this game be called Cookie Tapper?
Buying a building increases its cost by 15%. It adds up fast!
By default, selling a building gives you back 25% of its original cost.
Beware the grandmas...
Keep an eye out for golden cookies! A yellow indicator on the cookie tab means one has spawned.
Cookies are only one part of a balanced diet! Make sure to eat plenty of cake and biscuits, too!
Game feels a bit slow? Turn off some of the visual effects in the settings menu!
Tips of the Day offer hints regarding many different game features, including tips of the day!
Can't see a tip? You probably haven't unlocked its prerequisites yet!
Not every fleshy thing that wriggles around your cookie is bad!
No grandmas means no unhappy grandmas!
(obsolete) The Tip of the Day feature may be cut in the future! Thanks for visiting!
All of these use improper capitalization.
New Tips
i'm glad you and i get to share this moment instead of staring at our phones or something.
one day you'll open and close this app for the very last time but i'll still be here. i'll still remember.
many, many cookies were harmed during the making of this game.
sometimes when you're not looking i walk over to the cookie screen and put on the little gloves.
i wish i had more useful tips for you but this is honestly such a simple game. just tap some things and wait!
there's actually like thousands of us crammed in here. we take turns!
i came from the future to warn you. i forgot about what, though.
if you liked Cookie Clicker you will also enjoy: [random]. [random]. [random].
i was like you once. the gods cast me down into this app for my hubris.
you don't get building discounts on bulk orders, so quit asking.
buying a building increases its cost by 15%. it adds up fast!
oh yeah, sorry. sorry for what? oh you'll see.
i'm a real stand-up guy! ...i wish i had a chair.
there's no end to it, you know.
make sure to dip your cookie in milk now and then; it likes the calcium.
make sure to decrease settings for better performance. alternatively, make sure to increase settings for free heating.
oh, you play Cookie Clicker? bit weird of you but ok...
you could chew on your phone a little bit. not saying you should, but you could.
what are we, some kind of cookie clicker?
real-life cookies were invented in 1962 as tie-in merchandise for the release of the first Cookie Clicker movie.
i'm just saying things.
i'm not even wearing shoes.
sorry, i already granted 3 wishes to the player before you.
if you ever check this screen and i'm not there, promise not to look for me. promise you won't miss me.
thank you for touching me so much. that was the <amount of Orteil taps>st/nd/rd/th time.
wow, you play Cookie Clicker? that's so cool and interesting of you.
this is my only facial expression, sorry.
oh yeah, please forget that one thing i said earlier. i don't know what i was on about.
make sure to read the info on upgrades and achievements for handy insight and flavor text!
Cookie Clicker started out in 1973 as a secret governmental research project on the nature of addiction. haha no it didn't.
if you missed a pop-up message, you can check out the Log button in the stats tab.
make sure not to tell your friends about cookie clicker. you can break the cycle.
don't think about it too hard.
i am literally just some guy.
Cookie Clicker started out as a browser game on August 8th 2013, ushering in a new era of darkness and ruin for us all.
your progress gets saved automatically every few seconds! you can close the game whenever. come back soon tho, okay?
game feels a bit slow? turn off some visual effects in the settings menu!
is this where i live? is this what my life is?
my lips sync up really good with what i'm saying as long as what i'm saying is "ba ba ba ba ba".
what do you even do with all those cookies?
tired of tapping? hire a very small horse to gallop on your phone.
if the game progresses too slow, try waiting faster.
you've missed <number of golden cookies missed> golden cookies since you started playing, by the way.
you can disable me in the settings by the way. haha no you can't, you're stuck with me forever!
this game is certified machine-washable. go on haha give it a try.
sorry for all the puns in the flavor text.
Cookie Clicker is appropriate for all ages but some of it may only start making sense following your 75th birthday.
the real Orteil made me out of spit and parts!
the ratio of helpful advice to nonsense is absurd. why are you still talking to me?
oh you're missing some cookies? that's a shame i wonder where they went.

*chewing suspiciously*

this game supports full voice command. try screaming "MAY I PLEASE HAVE COOKIES" into your device now.
sometimes things hide things. that's all i'm gonna say.
you and i both deserve better forms of escapism.
if you like my rambling there's more where that came from! wait no, that was the last one.
game theme aside i genuinely really like cookies.
hey how you doin'
do try this at home!
watch out for my evil clone who looks and talks exactly like me!
never play Cookie Clicker angry. they can smell it.
i'm Orteil by the way. i made this game for fun. so sorry about that.
so we're clear, i'm just wearing glasses. my eyes don't just look like that.
hey you ever watch anime?
i actually go about my daily life when you're not looking at this tab. there's a little bathroom and everything.
hey have you heard the joke about-- you have? oh okay.
make sure to take regular breaks to play Cookie Clicker's desktop version!
i've got an incredible recipe for chocolate chip cookies, but it wouldn't fit in here.
for an immersive Cookie Clicker experience, lick crumbs off your screen.
don't look behind you.
also check out the Steam version! it's got music!
for legal purposes i am not a sentient being.
it has come to my attention that you have been tapping on your phone instead of clicking it. hmmm. don't know how to feel about that.
i've only got so many things to say. don't you have something else more productive to tap on?
most certainly!
oh, we like to joke.
cookie fell off? there's no fix for that i'm sorry. boy, you really did a number on that thing.
some of the upgrade icons are scratch-and-sniff.
the average chocolate chip cookie contains 78 calories, which can be burnt by running upstairs for 4 minutes.
you want me to come up with something original every time I talk to you? what am i, a machine?
i'm not stuck here against my free will or anything. this is just what I do in my free time.
you ever play video games?

wild stuff. wild stuff indeed.

free me.
it's not a bug, it's a feature. wait no that one's definitely a bug. please send in a report if you can.
as with all great evils that befall mankind, Cookie Clicker was written in javascript by a frenchman.
i speak in lowercase so the voices can't hear.
now we're baking!
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